Category: from: tv

“I swear to God, Clarkson, my life was somewhat normal before I met you.”

“I swear to God, Clarkson, my life was somewhat normal before I met you.”

James May, of course

Andy Wilman: I’m not angry with you.

Andy Wilman: I’m not angry with you.
Jeremy Clarkson: Oh, that’s a relief. I was REALLY worried. No, hold on. I really wasn’t.

Richard Hammond: Maybe I am insane. I mean, I am talking to myself.

Richard Hammond: Maybe I am insane. I mean, I am talking to myself.
James May: You are? Oh, I thought I’d made a friend.

Jeremy Clarkson: If anything goes wrong, fake a heart attack.

Jeremy Clarkson: If anything goes wrong, fake a heart attack.
James May: What are we thinking? The classic Angina or something sexier, like a Myocardial Infarction?
Richard Hammond: Just drop to the ground and wiggle.

Mindy Hammond: I’m volunteering at the animal hospital.

Mindy Hammond: I’m volunteering at the animal hospital.
Richard Hammond: [excitedly] Animal hospital?
Mindy Hammond: The animals are the patients.
Richard Hammond: [visibly disappointed] That makes sense.

Jeremy Clarkson: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.

Jeremy Clarkson: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.
Andy Wilman: And I need you to be less vague and less weird.

Richard Hammond: Who’s that?

Richard Hammond: Who’s that?
Jeremy Clarkson: Piers Morgan.
Richard Hammond: He’s got a very punchable face.
Jeremy Clarkson: Yeah, I noticed that.

James May: [while fighting with Richard] Your baby isn’t even that cute.

James May: [while fighting with Richard] Your baby isn’t even that cute.
Jeremy Clarkson: Too far, James, too far!

Richard Hammond: Jeremy? Do you have something you’d like to say?

Richard Hammond: Jeremy? Do you have something you’d like to say?
Jeremy Clarkson: Yes, thank you. May, when I first met you, I didn’t care for you at all. You were a fussy, whiny control freak.
James May: Yes? And now?
Jeremy Clarkson: Now… it doesn’t bother me so much.

“Oh, my God, I care so little I almost passed out.”

“Oh, my God, I care so little I almost passed out.”

Richard Hammond, to Jeremy Clarkson (after one of the latter’s talks about Alfa Romeo)